Wednesday, August 3, 2016

7D7M: Day 7

My excuse this time? Well, I had my face in a pint all weekend, and for the last few days I've been paying for that and have been forced to bed before most pre-teens. To be honest, I'm glad this 7 movies in 7 days thing is over, because I've sat through some utter drivel in the past week. One such culprit is:

It Follows

I spent the entire film waiting for some deep and profound backlying/underlying/any-way-lying story to crop up. I was still waiting when the credits rolled. I don't think there's anything deep about this film. It just glazes over the top level of horror. It barely touches on the what; it doesn't even attempt to explain the why. Which to me, is just lazy, uninspired storytelling and this really grinds my fucking gears.
I don't usually like to bitch about the human factor in films because I find it's most often a rather personal opinion. For instance, I wouldn't watch a movie that had Sandra Bullock acting in it, but I know of many of would watch it just because she's in it. Anyway, still cranky from the hangover from Hell, tonight I will indulge.
To be blunt, the acting was as dead as the storyline. I honest to Methuselah don't think the MC's facial expression changed from the start when things were hunky dory, all through the shit hitting the fan and to the also dead, banal ending. 
Would I recommend it? Would I recommend it? Not on your nelly. Not if it was the last thing on telly. Not even if I could find another line that rhymed. Seriously, don't bother. Do anything besides watching it. Floss your cats. Check out what that new taser feels like on your nuts. Anything to save you the pain that is It Follows.
My conscience, and hard-drive, is clear.

Monday, August 1, 2016

7D7M: Day 6

I haven't been watching films for the last few nights because my face has been stuck in a pint glass. Never fear, however, I'm back with a bang today, bringing you my thoughts on

The Den

This one wasn't the worst of them, to be honest. It was aggravating in the usual horror film ways - Why didn't you lock the door behind you? Perhaps you should consider putting that poker there through bad-boy's brain. Why are you running upstairs? Turn the fucking lights on. The MC did redeem herself by socking a few nice punches all the same. 
The ending, I thought, was quite clever also, and did a good job of pulling this film away from the typical trope.
Recommend it? So long as you don't invite the whole village around, promising them the night of their lives (then tell them I told you so), then sure, why not?